The sting of under wraps.

It is not easy living a life like this--full of questions, lies, discouragements, frustrations, worries and disappointments.
We try to cover up our real feelings for those special people we care for just to take pleasure in the delightness that it brings forth. It’s like knowing a secret that you should be heedful of. But it is also undeniable that it also entails the pang that almost crushes the entire being of anyone.
Why do we tend to love those people who have no ardor on us and fail to notice those who try to reach out and show their love for us? Why do we keep on waiting for those people who are also waiting for other people? Most people tend to obscure the emotions by themselves. Knowing that, that particular someone will never be yours, that you and that certain being were never bound to end up. It’s really like you are being left hanging on the highest point of the cliff with your head turning and turning and turning that all you just sought after is to collapse on a bed of roses. Funny to think, isn’t it? Do you know what it feels like? It’s unexplainable. It’s foolish to think that there are a person like me who keeps on asking many questions and until now has no answers for it pertaining to insanity and mystery that love brings.

wana be ONE of us?

Lisud jud ang mmahimung stujanti. AGREE???! Diba? Lisud jud. Dghan kau ug buluhatun. Preha r ni sa amu mga IC students dinhi sa USeP. Ngkapa-kapa njud mi sa klisud. Hahai..peO in spite ani amung kahimtang, mahimu ghpun nmu ang mglipai2 mskin sa gamai na pamaagi sama sa pagfud-3p, net surfing ug ubn pa.. paghuman aning among lipai2, BAK 2 NURMAL npud.. as usual.. luOi kaug khimtang. TECHNO-STRESS jud among gawas ani.. huhuhu..=c

BILIB lng pud ku aning ubn nkng klasmits kai nakaabut jud mig TULU ka tuig sa UseP. And we are PROUD tu sei na IRREGULAR mi..jijiji..Di parihu sa ubn na ning-GIVE’UP daun tungud sa kalisud. Nag-shift, ning-undang, ningbalhin ug skwelahan.. Kai lisud ba jud diay? Hmmm.. pangutana pa sa among maistra sa HRM: ” Is it the subjects na lisud pasarun o ang mga TICHER mismu ang nagapalisud sa inyu mga stujanti o TAAS lng jud ang standard sa atung eskwelahan?”.. ang akung tubag aning pangutana kai ang TULU.. k2ng tulu n mismu ang tubag sa pangutana ni ma’am.. discouraging lang jud kau kai ngakahinai2 n jud ug kahanaw ang mga stujanti sa IC. Idungag p dira ang lapas sa upat ka tuig na panagpundu sa amung dipartamintu.. nakatawa lng jud ku ky dawat n jud naku na mulapas jud kug upat ka tuig sa IC. Ahahahai.. cge lang, mkahuman lng lagi ku.. HUMANDA!=p

Maau lng jud ang gistress na point ni ma’am na that we are being trained. We are being taught of some vital things na mmahimung amung magamit kung naa njud mi sa field of work ug knang professional n jud mi. charmuz jud kau ai. Kanus’ a p kya nu?
*****************************************************************************
Inspiring jud kau ang verse na JEREMIAH 29:11.. it speaks of having faith unto the Lord. Entrusting our future to Him. That we will be in good hands in the future. Na di jud ta nia biyaan mgkinaunsa p mn. YAHUUUUUUUUUUUU!=P


Ang impurtanti lng pud kai mningkamut jud ming tnan. We need a lot of ENCOURAGEMENT sa isa’t isa.. ingun ani unta mi tnan nu? Unsaun ta mn? Di mn jud maiwasn n lahi ang panghuna2 sa ubn tawo.. untag OPTIMISTIC mi tnan nu? Hmmmm…honestly, I admit na usahai pud kai mamahimu pud kung pessimistic labi n kung sunud sunud na ug in a rush ang tnan..mura jud ku anag MALIPUNG.. mapungut mn gni ku.. GRRRRR..ug di n nku maantus..

Hmmm…unsaun ta mn? Ingun ani mn jud ning kinabuhing estujanti.. PURU lng ku reklamu nu? Di mn sa ingun ana.. ang aku lng kai maigawas kung unsai akung nabati. Na mashare nku sa ubn.. jijiji. Drama jud kau ba..


Ang amung sitwasyun ky dili lng para sa UseP.. siguru, there is a big SIMILARITY sa ubn pang skul..dili lng mn siguru kami ang nkabati ani.. tnan mn cguru stujanti nu..??

Hahai. Bsta, naa jui nagapaabut sa atu nga maau.. musalig lng jud ta sa IYAHA.. ukei??

GO! GO! GO!
AJA!=P

hai naku!

As the old song goes: LOVE is one BIG ILLUSION I should TRY to FORGET…
Why is it hard for a person to let go of someone who had brought a great brunt in one’s life???
True that love is a kind of feeling everyone wants to experience. It brings a lot of extraordinary sensation when you are bearing it. But, not all of everyone’s envisage leads to a happy ending. Sometimes, it directs to hurt, CONFUSION, pain, and disheartening events in your life..

Hahai, drama ever jud! Hala ka dira matiya! Type ky type lng jud! Igawas imung gibati arun mahuwas huwasan ka maskin gmai mn lang. Haha! Makasunggu kau ang intro. Pang red carpet kau. Jijiji. Magbisaya ra ku kay mahurut akung inglis; KURNI ra pud kau kung mg’tinagalug ku..May pag bisaya kay AYUS! Ow yi! Jijiji.. or y nOt make sagul sagul na lang arun ms madali nakin mailabas akung pelingz? Wajijiji…

Nganung lain mn jud ang batiun sa tawong dghan ug pangutana sa iang huna’huna taz di mn lang nia maipagawas o maisturya sa tawong gus2 kau nia is2ryahun? Is it the PRIDE na nag’una or HADLUk lng jud xa 2 DO the move? Hmmm..in my case, libug jud kau.. ayw n lng pangutana kung nganu.. kay pati aku, wa kasabut.. cguru, mau kau kung himuun ning tilisiryi akung buhay ba! (hu wants to PRODUCE? Wa nai problema sa DIRECTOR kay I proudly present MAYSELP!) HAHAHA…matud pa sa kanta na akung ginapaminaw, TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE..TELL HIMmmmmmmmm….ha??? tell him?? AwOoOOOoooo.. ayuku lagi..
Hahahahahai..talawan lng jud diay c matiya.. AFRAID to face all of the possible consequences that might arise..charmuz! unsaun jud diay? What if atik2 lng diay tung mga panghitabu n nanglabay sa akung kinabuhi? Hmmmm…

I CAN WAIT FOREVER if you’d say YOU’LL BE THERE TOO. Kanindut n lng pminawn.. peo wat if ikaw lng isa ang ngahulat? Unsaun mn na nimu? Naa p ba kai mbuhat ana? Diba wa ai na gid? Lami cguru kau iyaka ug iligid2 sa lapuk nu? Jijiji..(unsa ku babui?…dili kaya!) bitaw, truth rili hurts jud bya manang! Dawat2 nlng jud ta ani..

Cguru, dghan ang di ka jive sa akung ginapang yamar karung taknaa. Well, tama jud ku. Haha! KATINGALA nlng mu. Jijiji..

I’ll just wait for the day till the COURAGE to SAY NLNG guru.. or cguru, mnnatiling akin nlng ang aking ginabati. I wanted to let this out nmn jud peo di jud ai. AMBUT! Ana jud ku ktalawan.. usahai, it makes me wonder kung nganung nahitabu tu nakung mga butanga.. mao jud kaya tung planu ni Lord? Hmmm.. mau unta kung di ku ma’hurt! But unfortunately, purus lng jud DISCOURAGEMENTS and INSECURITIES akung matagbuan. Aku mn xang ginaiwas iwasn, but then , MUTAGBU jud xa naku. Hai naku..naunsa? purus nlng ku pretension ani?
Kaalkansi pud naku ui! Aku lng kya ang nkabati ani? Ha? Unsay ma-say nimu?

Ingun pa ni Mikaila sa iang sonata (which I rili rili like and one of my fave songs):
Try to say it’s over. Say the word goodbye,
But each time it catches in my throat.
You’re still in me and I can’t set you free.
So I hold on to what I wanted most.
MAYBE SOMEDAY WE’LL BE FRIENDS FOREVERMORE.
Wish I could open up that door.

Where do I start?
To live my life alone?
Unchain my heart that’s holding on.
Where do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I’m just learning,
Learning THE ART OF LETTING GO..

Ha? Letting go? Unsaun npud pag’let-go? Naa kui nbasa sa usa ka libru na di daw ka let’go ang usa ka tawo if you have never let the person know your TRUE feelings for them. Ayayai unsaun nlng.. I admit that one of weaknesses is that I’m not so vocal and true of what my real feelings are.. I wud RATHER KEEP THEM than tell the truth.. specially when it deals with “YOU KNOW NA THAT THING… the Kurniyest thing!” hahai .. nkaingun ku ani kai mao may akung ma’Observ.. tungud sa akung pagka observant, I learned a lot of things na maybe akung ma’apply in my life sa future.. KURNI xa in a sense na mahimung engot ang usa ka tawo for the sake pud sa ubang tawo (pagka KURNI nlng jud..hahai)..peo, despite ana, LINGAW pud xa.
Jijiji.. lingaw.. mlingaw ku sa mga revelations sa ubn (labi n sa akung mga kaila na nag’share sa akua)..

Sumtyms, mafil nku na naa jud kui ginapangita or gustu na di ku ksabut..lisud xa pangitaun..na hopefuli, aku n jung matagamtaman sa sunud..puhun puhun..

Peo nganung dghan mn kau ug pangutana sa akung huna’huna na maskin isa kai wa mn jui tubag? Hahai..ambut nku.. ALANGAN! Kay DI MN KU MANGUTANA! Mao na! Wala jud kui mpala. Usahai, naa mn pui mga butang na ms maau pang itagu nlng sa imung sarili diba?
THAT’S WHAT WE CALL PRIVACY..=P

Cguru, ginaagian nku ning tanan, simply because, it’s the WILL of MY DADDY.. xempre, prinses gud ku nia.. HE Planned it already na in a positive way.. alangan, pinangga gud ku sa akung DADDY.. all of HIS intentions are to fill me with blitheness and joy in my life. All that I shud do is that I’enjoi kung unsa akung gina-agiann krun and hav a mind set that naai nagapaabut sa aku na ms daku pa s akung kasayuran!!! YAHUUUUUUUUUU! =P